pseudoramble

It’s been two years since my Dad passed away. It’s strange to write that and read it back, but, here we are. Here’s a photo from my wedding (he’s on the right):

A family photo during a wedding. Includes the bride, groom, parents, and sibling/partner. They are standing in front of a lake with woods behind it.

The first year was very painful. I would miss him all the time, and lose sleep over replaying many intense memories from the last few weeks of his life. It was brutal, and at times it was hard to remember that the pain was there because of all the good I had from him and shared with him. The feelings overtook those things. Over time, those feelings and recurring memories became less frequent though.

The second year has been less painful. There are still those intense moments that occur, but they’re not as frequent and not quite as hard to cope with.

Nowadays, I often feel sad from small moments. I will hear a new song and think “Hey, Dad might really like to listen to this this!” and realize I can’t share that with him anymore. Another example was simply catching football on TV during Thanksgiving. My actual first casual thought was “I wonder if Dad’s watching right now.” Then the obvious returned to me, and that’s always tough.

On the other hand, I can really enjoy reliving old memories. From big trips and huge experiences, to small little day-to-day things and simple life lessons. I find enjoyment in them again.

The pain still exists and it sucks, but the pain is there because of those positive memories. I don’t believe that good and bad have to be 50/50 in a ying-yang kind of balance always, but I do believe that even the best things in life have sharp edges, many of which will be hit. So I have some degree of acceptance of that.

I don’t have any particular wisdom, knowledge, or tricks to impart from all this though. There’s no magic to reducing or coping or growing from death. Just processing, time, and reflection. And, naturally, find time to do what you enjoy, and spend as much time with those that you love as you can. For me, those memories are what’s most important.

Feel free to read more about him here. Miss you, Dad.

In this series:

  • Block I
  • Block II (this post)
  • Block III (future post)

A while ago I bought the Barbell Medicine Strongman Template to look at and try and work through. The template seems great and well thought out! Some new variations on exercises should be useful too.

Similar to Block I, I took the Block II schedule and made a few modifications. I’m making these simply to accommodate my schedule and what equipment I have a bit better. Here’s a mostly complete list of the changes:

  1. Dropped the loading workouts from Day 5 because I don’t have a great loading setup for them yet.

  2. Rearranged the days recommended for each setup. This is mainly due to scheduling and how much time I can put into a session each day.

Exercise List:

Day 1

  • Push Press
  • Mid Shin Rack/Block Pull Pull
  • Close Grip Bench supersetted with Pendlay Rows
  • Single Arm Dumbbell Press

Day 2

  • Deadlift
  • 2-Count paused Bench Press
  • Dumbbell Overhead Press supersetted with Pendlay Rows. (This should be really a pull up variation, but I don’t have a great way to do them yet)
  • Bicep/Tricep accessory supersets

Day 3

  • Front Squat
  • Push Press
  • Romanian Deadlift

Day 4

  • Back Squat
  • Overhead Press (Strict)
  • Box Step Ups (~Knee Height)
  • Farmer’s Carry

Fairly similar to last time, with some variations in exercises and techniques on each one. This time appears to emphasis less conditioning and a bit more intensity. We shall see how it goes!

In this series:

  • Block I (this post)
  • Block II
  • Block III (future post)

I had a few moments to start thinking ahead to my next workout regiment. My hope is to try and work this plan for at least a cycle, maybe two, and revisit after that. I’ll start it in the beginning of October.

Read more...

My wife and my life has changed quite a bit over the past two years:

  • We have a daughter now who has been everything to us.
  • We’ve both lost parents.
  • We all are currently going through a pandemic together.

It’s been a lot to say the least, of joyful and sorrowful moments.

At a more basic level too, it’s simply been a huge change in basic logistics as well as entertainment. It’s not possible to just make a choice on a whim anymore. Any trips require much more planning, coordination, and effort than we needed before (or, perhaps much more than I originally needed). Let’s not forget typical life stuff such as working and keeping the house sorta put together.

As a result, our free time has been cut down substantially. We find ways to buy each other time to do things though. I get to go work out, or my wife will work on craft projects or go shop. We’ve had help from others to make it work, which we’re eternally grateful for by the way. After a while you adjust, and it’s not so bad. You get used to it.

Interestingly, I’ve had some free time to myself the past week or so. I’ve had a whole weekend alone. I don’t have work this week. My wife and daughter are away on a trip. It’s been surprising to fully break, recharge, and actually have concentration and energy to do projects.

Deep cleaning, working on technical projects, watching series on a whim I think are interesting, finding little improvements to make in the house. I’ve done all of this, just in the past weekend or so.

This doesn’t make sense and isn’t supposed to be happening.

All I can tell you, fellow reader, is that it’s good. If you’re lucky enough to find the time to recharge in a serious and deep way, do it!

I'm a vegetarian now. I've been eating this way for maybe 4-6 months now (actually, 9 months for this specific piece!). So I'm fairly confident it has stuck. While it's kind of a strange transition, it's being going on so long that it also has been pretty gradual and uneventful largely.

I was going to write this as a single post originally, but I prefer shorter reads. So I’ll break this up into several parts:

  1. Motivation

  2. Getting There, Practically Speaking

  3. On Protein (this post)

  4. Challenges & Considerations

Read more...

This list is at best littered with issues, and is very possible to have fatal flaws. They are in no real particular order. My thoughts will change over time, though it doesn’t mean this post will. Interested in knowing more or if my thoughts have changed? Ask!

Read more...

I'm a vegetarian now. I've been eating this way for maybe 4-6 months now (actually, 9 months for this specific piece!). So I'm fairly confident it has stuck. While it's kind of a strange transition, it's being going on so long that it also has been pretty gradual and uneventful largely.

I was going to write this as a single post originally, but I prefer shorter reads. So I’ll break this up into several parts:

  1. Motivation

  2. Getting There, Practically Speaking (this post)

  3. On Protein

  4. Challenges & Considerations

Read more...

This seems like the kind of thing that could change year-by-year, but it came up in a Hacker News thread recently. So I thought I’d jot down my current thoughts, which are a sum of my previous experiences and changes over time.

Read more...

I'm a vegetarian now. I've been eating this way for maybe 4-6 months now (actually, 9 months for this specific piece!). So I'm fairly confident it has stuck. While it's kind of a strange transition, it's being going on so long that it also has been pretty gradual and uneventful largely.

I was going to write this as a single post originally, but I prefer shorter reads. So I’ll break this up into several parts:

  1. Motivation (this post)

  2. Getting There, Practically Speaking

  3. On Protein

  4. Challenges & Considerations

Read more...

So far I like Writefreely. It's relatively easy to setup and host, the layout and typography are nice, and it uses Markdown which makes sense to me.

There's a few features I wish it had:

  • Image upload and insert. Apparently this is proposed for Writefreely but has yet to be implemented.
  • Easy API extension support. It has a login system already and other features. It's I be nice to be able to add features as needed using it. Things like image upload.
  • There is a classic editor and the direct Markdown editor. It can be changed via a config. It'd be sweet if it could be toggled through the UI.

Maybe I'll take a shot at implementing these features, but that requires time. Also an understanding of Go.

So maybe not too.

EDIT: I came up with an easy enough way to workaround image uploads. I have NextCloud setup already. I made a spot to drop images and share them there. Easy peasy!